Garage Sale
I spent last night cleaning out my garage (sorry Keith), which seems like I do this every time a project is completed. However, this time I dived into the old Thura cabinet. Along with the powdered drink mix and the 5 gallon dispensers (yes that’s right - plural – two dispensers for cold drinks and one for hot) I came upon some literature from our “core” leadership meetings of long ago (about 3 years). Back then we tried so hard to build his kingdom. We put ourselves at a fevered pace of each initial house church starting two additional house churches per year. To say the least, we failed in that category. In my search, I also found some drums. This was supplied by the Apex staff to initiate a music ministry. We have the guitar makin’ machine – this will be more than sufficient. As I cleaned, I reflected on my experience that God has let me be a part of and all that I have learned from it. My experience was one that started as a big church crammed into a garage. Same style, same effect and one that I fear a lot of our house churches are attempting. One single teacher and a audience. True, that audience will learn from the teacher’s experiences but they will only see a limited view of Gods footprint. I have learned to shut-up when I can (when I am not being lead by the spirit to speak) and to listen to everybody else. I tend to learn more, from the other 4 people who now make up our house church, by understanding how God has touched them which will help me see God more clearly. We as Gods people need to drop the baggage of traditional church theory when we attempt small group settings. I have tried and failed at every other attempt known to us. The only one that has worked is to let go of the reigns and let our souls run freely. Simply seek out the Father’s love and the rest will follow. It sounds chaotic and I would agree, but if we truly follow the same master, how can it fail? My wish to you is that you might experience the father's love more clearly next year.
Happy Frickin’ Holidays
Have you ever slowly pulled out a single hair on your arm? You watch as your skin peaks to the point of release and all the while you experience intense pain from this one little area. That best describes the feeling that I get when I receive “holiday” cards in the mail. I also experience this phenomenon when someone wishes me “happy holidays”.
Why are people so afraid to say “Marry Christmas”? How can this small statement offend anybody? Perhaps many of you folks might not know me well but to say that I am “politically correct” is offensive to me. I am who I am. If I wish someone a “Merry Christmas”, that is more of a statement of the sender than it is the receiver. I state that I believe in something profound and that I wish the blessings that I see in my beleif on the receiver. How can anybody receive blessings from “Holidays”? Which “holiday” are you referring to? If you are Jewish and you wish me “Happy Honokaa” I would be honored. Not that I am Jewish but the sender is and that he sends his blessings from his soul, the very nature of his being. If you say “happy Holidays”, it is a sure sign to me that you are luke-warm or an atheist who is making a pathetic attempt at merriment. I do realize that it is also a trend so as not to upset the receiver, but has anybody been harmed by a statement of blessings?
I wish you, from all that is within me, Merry Christmas.
To My Wife Tera:
Well you and I
We're buddies
And we've been since we first met
Me and you
Well we've sure been through
Our share of laughter and regret
Lord knows we've had our bad days
And more than once we've disagreed
But you've always been a friend to me
You can be so stubborn
There's times I think you just like to fight
And I hope and pray
I live to see a day
When you say I might be right
And there's times I'd rather kill you
Than listen to your honesty
But you've always been a friend to me
You've always been
Time and again
The one to take my hand
And show to me it's okay to be
Just the way I am
With no apology
Oh you've always been
And you will 'til God knows when
Yes you've always been a friend to me
A Friend To Me
Written By Garth Brooks
I met you on that cold winter day on the playground so many years ago. I was taken back by your beautiful hair, your deep brown eyes and olive skin. You wore a brown and tan sweater as you walked by and I asked your name. You had just been hurt by a person that you called a friend. This is the first memory of my angel that lives with me. Yes you are indeed my best friend but you are so much more than that. You love me with passion and persistence. You give until it hurts. Your beauty is beyond words and as of yet I have been unable to express it. It has been eight years this day since we made a promise to our God and friends but it has been 16 years of pure unrestrained love. Happy anniversary my Love.
Last night I watched a commercial from moveon.com (a democrat affiliate). It showed a student in the middle of a dirt lot looking so sad. It showed a “teacher” sadly looking away from the chalkboard. It then went on to compare President Bush’s decision to send $85 billion to help rebuild Iraq to hiring 2 million teachers and build more schools and spend money on education.
Here are some logical flaws in this commercial.
1) The $85 billion was voted on by congress and it was passed. This would require many members of the Democratic Party, the same people that paid for this commercial, to vote for this bill.
2) Once you build more schools and hire 2 million teachers; you will have spent $85 billion, true but that is only the first year. The commercial is implying that this money would cover this and we would never have to pay for the schools and teachers again. The fundamental governmental principal is that once money is spent on one item, it will never stop spending on that item. So, their idea is to spend $85 billion for the first year and continue with that same spending for the following years. This can only be covered by taking additional money out of your pocket in the form of taxes.
3) Spending more money on education has been proven to be a failure. The current educational budget is now higher than the total US budget in the 1980’s. Test scores have fallen even in brand new schools.
4) Although some might not agree to the USA invading Iraq, it would be cruel to not help the people of Iraq to rebuild their destroyed country. It would be equally cruel to completely pull out of Iraq and let the people fend for themselves, as some presidential hopefuls would like us to do. The reality is that once we free a country from a tyrant, we will occupy that country for a very long time. We are still in Germany, Japan, Korea and Vietnam. We are fooling ourselves in thinking that we will leave Iraq in 5-10 years. Once Iraq is a democratic nation, we will continue to occupy it and prove to the neighboring countries that strong arm dictatorships will never succeed compared to the will of the people.
Racism -
I have had enough of it. I am sick of people hating others for no other reason than their appearance. I am no longer tolerating it with the people that I meet. I have customers that tell me that they avoid black people because they had a bad experience with a person that happened to be black. That is the most asinine statement I have ever heard. That is like saying that you had a bad experience with a person who happened to be female and from now on, I’m gona’ only deal with men. What a dumbass!
I am ashamed to say that I even hear this from my own family. The holidays are filled with family members talking with each other and throwing in a racial joke every so often. Even my own father despises black people. My blood boils. I can not comprehend why people can be so stupid.
"When you see me you don't see a man, you see a black man." (Samuel Jackson “A Time to Kill”) I think this statement is very true for most of us. At least it is very true for me. It has taken a long time for me to see past the small world of my family, but the other side is beauty. I think that the world would be a very different place if racism was removed. Social, economic and political (especially political) structures have survived only because of racism. I think that politicians are scared to death of making a true statement because it would end their career. I see racism, on both sides, as motivated by fear and fear alone.
I think it is safe to say that I suck at poems. This one represents my current state of thoughts. I am learning to let God love me like he has always wanted to. And by the way, I suck at that too.
You’ve been here my whole life
Watching every thing that I do
There have been days that
I’ve completely turned against you
I seem to find myself empty
You see my pain with open arms
I’ve been loved through all this
Always keeping me away from harm
I run to you with a limp
You see me as a work of art
I am worthless before you
You hold me dear to your heart
I have seen you my whole life
Even when I didn’t want to
There has been so much sorrow
You’ve held me to see it through
I am now seeing your love
I was timid, wet and cold
Now I feel your warmth
It is purer than gold
True, you are my God my King
But now I see you without fear
I see your love, infatuation and resolve
Still you wipe away my every tear
For years I have struggled for your favor
I can see that it was all in vain
I beat myself up reading and prayin’
You watched as I caused myself pain
There is nothing that I can do
But be loved by you.
