Thursday, June 30, 2005

Everything I have learned I have seen in Moulin Rouge.

Well kids, it’s been a while since I have had access to a computer. The past month or so have seemed to be some of the most inspirational that I have ever endured.

I have come to the realization that our lives are fragile and at the same time it is worth dying for. While most of this awareness has been at other’s expense (many friends filled with cancer, high blood pressure, random deaths, the list goes on) I have grown to value life more than ever. Our bodies are fragile to some degree. They create some odor not of this world I can assure you, and my body is aging as this move has exposed.

So what is it that gives me hope? Love. All you need is love. To love and to be loved in return – that is life: To cherish my wife in the way that only I can and to be treasured by my wife in her dearest special ways. To see the faces of my son’s as they plunge to the watery abyss of Splash Mountain and to know that I am their guide to the wonders of this world. To have my daughter grasp my small finger and lead me to a dragon that only I can slay for her.

I have been pulled from a fast paced, high-stress, over stimulated work week and into – nothing. That is right, not a damn thing. No job to go to every day. Nothing. This might seem like a dream come true to most but to be honest, it took some getting used to. I was a genuinely perfectly round asshole for a good two weeks straight. I was friggin’ bored out of my mind. Nowhere to go, no longer important and nothing to fix – and on top of that no cable.

Back to the subject at hand… I have been overwhelmed by love as of late. My family has been waiting for me for almost ten years and yet I was too important to see it. Making money or lack there of, seemed more pressing. I can see through their wanting me that this life, be it fragile, is pure beauty – it is just how you live it that will expose the vibrant colors.

Friday, June 03, 2005

I started reading mere Christianity by Lewis. It is a bit dry and very analytical but very worth the while. I hope that someday I may gain a similar intellect as my friend Phil Webster by reading these books. Granted I know that I have about the same chance as using my penis as a pogo stick and flying to the moon but I'll give it a whirl.

Something struck me the other day while I was reading Luke 12-21. I, and I can say we, don't live my life like Jesus did - at all. I can't remember the last time I invited a poor, smelly man to dinner at my house. When was the last time I ate with someone I never met and further more would never fit in our social structure? Too dangerous? Too unpleasant? Read it and tell me what you think.