Saturday, April 30, 2005

News papers:

Where I am moving from:

http://www.reviewjournal.com/

Where I am moving to:

http://prescottdailycourier.com/

Not to rub it in but I am so looking forward to the chick lings hatching as the top news of the day. If anyone wants to join us on our new adventure, there are tons of houses going up and lots of new apartments to be filled.

Names

I was listening to talk radio last weekend and the host was doing his monologue about the filibuster in the Senate and other issues in politics. He made a great point that the constitution in which this country was founded on has no parties mentioned in it. No minority, majority etc.; it assumes that we are Americans and that we elect those to represent our will the best. This allows two or more people to stand up and give their ideas and reasons why the people should vote for that person. Unfortunately in the current system a person represents a party and not an individual. Unfortunately the voters now vote for a party alone and forfeit representation of that group of people. We have unionized the union as it were. When you are voting and you check all D’s or all R’s you ultimately are relinquishing your power to the political party.

I’m not thrilled with what is happening in the Senate. We vote for representation and they are to do their job. What they are doing is taking the longest smoke break in history. For you liberals out there, I am speaking about both sides. I am a tad bit agitated about all of it. Social Security, illegal aliens, judicial appointments, energy plans… the list goes on. Things are stagnate at best. We have on one side, the minority, attempting to hold the power of the majority and the majority not having a back bone to listen to the will of the people and take the necessary steps to protect the country by closing the boarders.

Oddly enough, contrary to the previous two paragraphs, I really don’t care anymore. While I see politics as very intriguing and stimulating, it is also another tool that divides us. For some, once you have been deemed preference to one party or the other, you are either engaged in conversation or forced to pointless chit chat about nothing in particular. You also see this in organized church. Tow the line and you are lavished in love. Ask a question about the truth in last Sunday’s sermon or are seen as a liberal and you are greeted with only a smile. Divisiveness has no place in the body of Christ. I am moving to a small town that I fear has very little tolerance for a “liberal” (read as open-minded) “Christian” (read as disciple).

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I’m a radical thanks to Jimmy.

That night I opened the door and met a wild hired bearded man that damn near looked like he was the latest castoff from Survivor. Honestly, I didn’t know what to think. He seemed nice until he picked up a remote on my Xbox and then he kicked my ass on Halo. So much for pleasantries.

His thought process was most intriguing. He introduced me to “Fight Club”, B movies, independent films, Quentin Tarentino, and a host of other movies and what not. He also encouraged me to read some books that I would normally never touch. It wasn’t that the subject matter was odd; it was that I didn’t read books. Period. He was extreme minded. I was not. Not even close. And while he and Jodie debated weather God wanted someone to eat at McDonalds or Burger King for lunch I not only saw extremism but a very pure form of love. When it was all said and done and the shouting was over, I left knowing that, while he proved his point, he cared for me deeply and everyone else in that room and would have gladly died for us. He was the ultimate example of a servant. Often he would drop everything, including a game, and work on my problem with my stupid computer.

While I didn’t agree with everything that he said and that we debated with, there is a bond that we shared. He worked for me at the store and we spent a lot of time discussing the Apex quandaries and House of Teens issues. I think it was a time of transition for both of us. I still don’t consider myself an extremist, but I have learned a great deal from Jim. I have learned to step out of my box of what I am positive to be true and look at it from the outside. I have gained a new fondness for acceptance of those that don’t see eye to eye to my views because maybe my views might not be found out of truth. I learned that while the Bible is a pure form of truth, it can be a blinder to other truths. He pushed me to stretch my creativity by starting something called Blogging.

So here is to you my friend. May our Father lead you on to hills farther up the way. May you and your blessed wife lead a life of endless exploration of this Kingdom of wonder.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

“In a recent radio interview I was sternly asked by the host, who did not consider himself a Christian, to defend Christianity. I told him that I couldn’t do it, and moreover, that I didn’t want to defend the term. He asked me if I was a Christian and I told him yes. ‘Then why don’t you defend Christianity?’ he asked, confused. I told him that I no longer knew what the term meant. Of the hundreds of thousands of people listening to his show that day, some of them have had terrible experiences with Christianity; they may have been yelled at by a teacher in a Christian school, abused by a minister, or browbeaten by a Christian parent. To them, the term Christianity meant something that no Christian I know would defend. By fortifying the term, I am only making them more and more angry. I won’t do it. Stop ten people on the street and ask them what they think of when they hear the word Christianity, and they will give you ten different answers. How can I defend a term that means ten different things to ten different people? I told the radio show host that I would rather talk about Jesus and how I came to believe that Jesus exists and that he likes me. The host looked back at me with tears in his eyes. When we were done, he asked me if we could go get lunch together. He told me how much he didn’t like Christianity but how he had always wanted to believe Jesus was the Son of God.”

– Donald Miller “Blue Like Jazz”

Good stuff. I find myself a bit perplexed with the term Christian when someone asks me what I am. It is almost like a mood killer. I can see it in their eyes that they want little to do with me once the cat is out of the bag. Oddly enough, I can talk forever about Jesus without the term Christian surfacing. I think the term has developed a definition such as:

“We are Grouchy Sunday church goers who must be right wing and tend to buy anything that has ‘as seen on TV’ attached to it. We are known as bigots and that is just fine because we are right. Do not cross us or else we will start to quote scripture at you. We are highly skeptical when it comes to Harry Potter but the Left Behind series is the greatest witness tool out there. Drinking adult beverages is out of the question because either I feel guilty or I may encourage my brothers in Christ to slide. Dancing – um…no but let’s meet at my church so that I may persuade you to join our group.”

Monday, April 18, 2005

“Going through life and seeing targets on those who don’t believe.”

Or something like that is what Greg mentioned last night. It was a good time for all 20 of us (sarcasm for those bean counters out there) that went to the gathering. That phrase, however, got me thinking a bit. You meet a new neighbor, coworker whatever and instead of attempting to hear what the other person has to offer via conversations, you see them only as one who needs Jesus. While that may be true I remember that during those conversations I was too preoccupied on pointing the discussion towards God and religion. I couldn’t enjoy the other person’s thoughts and see their experiences because dammit, they needed God! Sad I guess.

One of the many things that I have learned here on my spiritual awakening trip to Las Vegas (let it be known that it sure as hell wasn’t a financial one) was that I needed to see people, all people as a gift of sorts. I needed to see them in their light and hear from their past and find value in that. Regardless of political, spiritual and other fronts that we may have, each one of us is valuable to my Father and I needed to so desperately see that. While it may be a good thing, not everyone can think like me and have the same passions that I have.

I think that I enjoy people more than ever now. I let the subject of my Father come up in conversations only when the other person invites it. While this may piss some of you off, it allows me to see the person in his light without my influence. All I am is a farmer who scatters seed; all I’m doing is bettering my aim.

Friday, April 15, 2005

So what is your fortune?

I’m learning new things from David - my employee. Such as: when reading your fortune after devouring your fortune cookie the phrase “…in bed.” must be applied at the end of every fortune. I have a basket of fortune cookies right next to me while I am writing this. Let me try one….

…cracks open the a random fortune cookie…eats the cookie – first one half – chew - then the other…notices ears are still ringing from all the blessed crunchiness...takes paper and unfolds it.

Oh yes here it is – my fortune: “Resist a temptation to take shortcuts of any kind.”

Takes the whole Chinese dining experience thing to a whole new level now doesn't it.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

I’m reading the book “Blue Like Jazz” on the recommendation of many friends.

His writing style is very entertaining. One chapter is called “Faith – Penguin sex”. Yup, that sums it up for me. He is very open and honest about this dilemma of following an invisible God. He compares it to an inner instinct that tells me that my hunches are right in that there is a creator and he loves me more than life itself. You can not reason with it although I have tried. You can not convince some one of it – yes I tried that too. You can not prove it – you can’t prove love either but it exists. You can seek all you want with you senses and logic but He is seeking you. It is as if it chooses you not you choose it. I trust that this somehow makes sense.

Nonetheless, get the book and soak it up. Some great material in there that a lot you us have struggled with and he has a way of putting it on pages.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

100 statements - thanks cheryl
Family
1. I’ve been married to Tera for almost 10 years
2. We were married on December 15, 1995.
3. I asked her to be my girlfriend on December 15, 1987
4. We took only one “break” to date others for about 16 months.
5. We were virgins before we were married
6. That was the best thing that I have ever given to my wife.
7. I heard a wine commercial with a beautiful song on it and I secretly told myself that I wanted to hear that at my wedding and to my surprise it was played when Tera walked down the aisle.
8. I still can’t remember the name of that song – I think it was Hymn #7.
9. I cried a lot when she walked down the aisle.
10. We lived in a one room apartment for 6 months and then bought a house. Buying a house when I was young was the best financial thing I have ever done.
11. I can’t remember what my life was before Clay was born.
12. Clay was born on December 1, 1998
13. I cried a lot when clay was born.
14. Damon was born on April 6, 2001.
15. I was scared to death wondering how I am going to love him as much as I loved Clay. It happened but I still don’t get it.
16. Ella was born on August 29, 2003
17. I got “fixed” right after Ella was born.
18. I cried a lot the day I got fixed.
19. There were “complications” – we will leave it at that.
20. My Kids are growing up way too fast.

History
21. I have three brothers and one sister.
22. I am the last and middle child – screwed one way blessed the other.
23. My mom and dad were divorced when I was around 3.
24. I got to visit my dad every summer and Christmas and some holidays.
25. I would wait on my couch and look out the window to see if my dad was there yet.
26. Dad was always late. I hated waiting.
27. I lived with my mom and her parents in their house.
28. While mom went to work I was at school or during breaks, my grandma and grandpa took care of me.
29. Grandpa taught me Psalms 1, took me to work (he owned a plumbing company and I used to honk the horn when we went under a bridge), taught me how to shoot a gun and bow and arrow (I shot a 30’06 when I was 6 – daymn!!!).
30. Grandpa used to take naps in the basement and he also made his own ammunition down there (marksmen make there own – they just do).
31. Grandma read books to me because we didn’t have a TV.
32. Grandpa died when I was in the 4th grade.
33. I cried a lot that month.
34. Mom taught me chivalry, facts of life, and damn near everything else.
35. Mom worked her ass off to take care of her three boys.
36. My two older brothers made sure I was looked after and I was to never miss out on the fun that they were having.
37. Mom took me to church every Sunday, weather I wanted to or not.
38. Mom made me go to camp kickin’ and a screamin’. Me no likey until I got there.
39.Mom was a cowgirl (she won AZ state rodeo queen one year – barrel racing) and my oldest brother won best all around cowboy AZ state rodeo – calf roping, steer wrestling and team roping. I have ridden a horse twice.
40. Vic (brother) had a Chevy step-side show truck named blu-by-u. I drove it down the highway when I was 10 (he was there too).

Work
41. My first real job was at a gourmet grocery store – go figure.
42. I was promoted to apprentice chef at the Italian kitchen inside the store.
43. Apprentice chef = cut up food and make pizzas. I can cut mushrooms like its nobodies business.
44. I quit when the head chef got mad at me for missing two bread crumbs. I think his name was Dick – at least that’s what I called him.
45. He got fired right after I quit and I got rehired right after he got fired. Justice prevailed.
46. I worked for my brother’s then father-in-law. I learned how to fabricate and weld.
47. When he sold his business I went with him to start a new business. I was #1 for all you star trek fans.
48. He would scream and yell at me just about every morning and apologize every afternoon.
49. I learned to hate him.
50. I went to work for his best friend building trailers. One of the nicest guys I have ever met. I tried to buy his company but no one would lend $4 mil to a 24 year old.
I moved to Vegas and started to work for my brother but it didn’t work out. I said what the heck, I’m gona to start a grocery store.

Sports
51. I played soccer for three years. I was (still am) fat and so I was the goalie (sp?).
52. I was in charge of the orange slices and juice most often.
53. I was in the chess club when I was in the 6th grade.
54. Chess is a sport.
55. I suck at chess.
56. I started playing tennis when I was around 11.
57. I won a trophy for best sportsman at one of the many tennis camps. My ability to play the damn sport never got me more that an achievement award.
58. I started getting very good at tennis until I turned 16. I played in many tournaments and against older guys. I had a very wicked serve (I played left handed and my serve hit many a person).
59. I got a car when I turned 16.
60. I played football for two years. I loved the game but hated the conditioning and one of the coaches (coach Brocelli – he thought his shit was indeed candy).

School
61. I went to private Christian schools all my life.
62. I wasn’t privileged – just smarter than the commoners.
63. I puked all over the second grade door when my teacher made me finish all of my hot dog lunch.
64. I’ll never think of hot dogs quite the same.
65. Grade school and Jr. High – Light and Life. High school – Phoenix Christian High School.
66. In my freshman year I squatted 365 lbs. It was the schools second most lbs squatted – ever.
67. I sucked at (still do) spelling. During high school’s study hall I would write to Tera in a note book that we shared. It helped me a lot. I think she still has all of them as well as all my love letters and all of the petals from the roses that I gave her. They are in our kitchen if you want to see them.
68. I played tennis with a guy named Stewart. He shot himself a year after we graduated. I still think of him often. His younger brother shot himself a year after that. His dad was a pastor of a Baptist church.
69. My drank friends a lot. I tried really hard but never liked it enough to get drunk.
70. One of my best friends in high school was Brad. I still talk to him damn near every day.

Church
71. I walked to church every Sunday. I thought it made me extra spiritual because I saw our neighbors who were Jewish walk on Saturday with their little hats on.
72. I went to the same church that my Grandpa went to until mom wanted to switch to a southern Baptist church. Pastor Richard Jackson yelled a lot and sweated like I guy that uh……sweats a lot.
73. I sang in the youth choir every Wednesday.
74. The music pastor was very good at teaching vocals to 100 plus kids. We were very good.
75. I spent a lot of summers playing pool and roller skating in our church’s “outreach” building. We were rich believers.
76. You had to be a member in order to rent skates. You had to be baptized in their tank in order to be a member. Praise God because we wouldn’t want any heathens borrowing those skates.
77. My first date was at the indoor basketball courts. We watched Grand Canyon College play against another no name college. By the way, if you were wondering, my first date was with Tera and my mom drove us around in her new Camaro.
78. In High School, one Sunday our Youth pastor asked our whole class to leave if we didn’t want to be there. We didn’t but we thought we were very cool for him to say that.
79. I started to go to Tera’s church in college. That pastor didn’t yell or sweat. He was cool.
80. We no longer go to “church”. We just like to spend time with our friends.

Religion
81. I memorized Psalms 1 when I was about 6. I used to impress my Grandpas friends with my biblical skills.
82. I went to every vacation bible school, retreat, bible camp, bible tour, and choir tour that my church had to offer. My religion was a way of life.
83. I went to Christian grade school and Christian high school. My religion was my learning.
84. I went to church every Sunday, Wednesday, Saturday and Friday for choir rehearsal. My religion was my hobby.
85. I never, in all my years of training and memorizing, knew anything about the Kingdom that Jesus started. I never knew that the Kingdom was all around me but it wasn’t complete.
86. I believed that Jesus was God because the Bible, and only the Bible, said so.
87. I loathed people that raised their hands, cried, or spoke in tongues during the service.
88. My hobby became apologetics instead of love.
89. I practiced debating (in my mind) many Mormons, Catholics, Hindus, Harlicrishnas (sp), and Jehovah’s Witnesses but trembled every time someone wanted to ask me what I believed. I think I was a very nervous guy.
90. Not until I came to Las Vegas did I see what I had become.

Stuff I just remembered
91. I fell out of a tree house when I was very little. I had a severe concussion and my left eye was bleeding. I still get headaches every so often that I blame that damn tree.
92. I love to fish. I hate eating them but I can catch them pretty good. My Grandpa took me fishing often and my dad did too.
93. I am learning a lot about my dad when I fish with him. We went on a three day deep sea fishing trip that I will never forget and this year we are looking at a 5-7 day trip.
94. I swore that I would never leave like my dad did to me. While I will still hold true to that promise I have realized the man my dad has become. I never had much of a relationship with him when I was young but I now am very close to him. I no longer have regrets when it comes to him. In fact I deeply admire him and hope that I learn from the things he tells me.
95. I love to create things out of metal. It is an art form for me – an expression.
96. I know that I get misunderstood by many people. I tend to be somewhat blunt and try to find the funny things in life and too often at other’s expense. I’m not perfect – sue me.
97. I have discovered a deep love in an odd community. It is infectious and beautiful.
98. I have discovered that I am loved and valued by my Father. I knew John 3:16 but I misunderstood that He loves me this much and this close.
99. I deeply love those in my community and often will sit in the back of our gathering and think and pray for every person that I see.
100. I am now exposed.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Muddled Thoughts...

The pope is dying.
Sad, I guess.
Suffice it to say that I’m not exactly emotionally attached.
I hear reports of so many people weeping in mourning over this mortal man.
They should be weeping over not knowing You.
Why would men want to keep other men from learning about my You?
Answer: Power.
It seems the more I learn about Your love for me the simpler life is.
All of man’s attempts to explain You make You more complex in our minds.
We are gold temples covered with different coats of paint thinking that it looks better.
We call that paint religion.
Yet You still see right through it.
I love You too.