Recently I have been caught up in the whole political thing that it damn near consumed me. I mostly respond to things on the news that are false and it pisses me off. I am a fan of truth. Nothing else, and in so realizing this fact, I think I should focus my energy on the one true thing.
After reading my
wife’s blog and concentrating on it I realized how much I and my family have changed. I don’t know how long it has been since we have been to a “big church”. In my past, I thought that if I didn’t attend on a regular basis, I would stop concentrating on the father and become the “prodigal son” – bound for hell with money on his mind. If you have been reading my blogs (thanks by the way), I hope you could determine that that’s not the case at all. I have learned more about who the Father is and my relationship with him, than all my years of church combined and it is all due to the fact that I must think on my own. I don’t have a sermon crammed down my neck every Sunday. I’m not asked to help in the kid’s room. I’m not asked to stand, sit, kneel, or take the stupid stale cracker and juice that tastes like the carpet that I am standing on. I’m not asked to stand and somewhat sing a song with the vigor of an overweight man who just ate a super value meal at jack in the box and can’t keep from falling asleep. No none of this. I am now forced to think for myself. I now search for the Father’s will in every thing no longer leaning on someone’s opinion of what a few verses have to say to 1,000 people. If I serve my friends, eat the sacred meal in remembrance of what the master did for me, or praise him with every ounce of energy that is within me: it is because it is in my very being to do so. If I don’t, I swear I’ll blow up. It is natural or second nature; it’s the same as my heart beating. I now feel very uncomfortable at a big church setting because of the independence that I have gained. The big church setting is odd and at odds with the very nature of who Jesus is. I’m not trying to harp on the big church, I feel this way in all organized church settings weather it be mega or house churches. If the “congregation” looks to men to serve their needs, they will take their eyes off the master.
I admit it! I am a fan of Dr. Laura. Guilty, now start pointing the fingers.
As I was driving to an appointment, I listened to a caller ask what was best for her baby. She was pregnant, single, living in an apartment, going to college to better herself, and working part time. Dr. Laura told her something that struck me with pride. Yup pride – read on.
She told her that she must drop school, move back in with her parents (in order to establish some sort of “nest”, or home for that child to recognize) and never attempt to get married. Although she was living freely, she would soon be bound to her child until he was 18 years old. Everything would soon revolve around the kid. Whatever was in the best interest of the kid came first (and I am not referring to spoiling). All of this came from one thing – sex outside of marriage. For the rest of the kid’s life, he will never have a father figure because of this one mistake.
Now here is the part that I am proud of. Although the mistake was never committed, the circumstances were such that my mom did this very thing for me. After mom and dad’s divorce, we immediately went to live at my grandparent’s house. I was raised with my mom, grandma and grandpa and I couldn’t be any more proud of that fact to this day. Mom worked her ass of, had no dating life to speak of, and never did anything that wasn’t in my best interests. Somehow, through circumstances (if you believe that there are circumstances), I was able to go to a private school, I was never hungry, always clothed (nicely to say the least, in fact I think mom is still payin’ for some), and, if I may be so bold, married the best girl out there. My life today is what it is because mom recognized what were the important things in life and stuck to them.
Now, I have been told that if a guy came from a broken home, he will be doomed to create a broken home. This saying and all the others out there have officially earned the term of BULLSHIT. Those are just excuses for some guys who are mistakenly called men.
So if you ever want to ask my advice about something regarding children, go ahead, just don’t expect the answer to be very easy. After all, they are only mirrors of you.
On a side note, now that I have a family of my own, I get to experience pure joy on a regular basis because I can appreciate it. Everyday is a new adventure with my beautiful wife and 2 boys and a girl – I am blessed. God promised me happiness beyond my dreams and he gave me them. Their names are Tera, Clay, Damom, and Ella.
I saw “the last samurai” last night. I now want to join an army that uses only swords and arrows in combat. I know that I would be one badass with a blade in my hand. As I watched the movie, I, for a brief moment, had no fear of dieing. In fact, I saw that it would be a great honor to die for a cause that you believed in so much. I have no cause save one – my King. However, I don’t think that he would prefer that I wield a samurai sword towards the enemy. But you never know, you just never know.
Now I am going to write my wife a letter for mother’s day. I’m not a fan of “greeting” cards. I think it is rather bland. “Here, I went and bought you this piece of paper for $4.99 and I can’t remember what it says, but you’ll like it. You wana know why? Cause I went to the store and spent $4.99 on a piece of paper.” I figure that if I spend time and reflect on how my wife has blossomed into this woman that contains more love than any other person I have ever met in my life. In my opinion, mother Teresa ain’t got squat compared to my wife. She has the energy to play with my kids at their level; looking eye to eye with them and making them feel like they are the most important princes and princess on this earth. She does this all day and then when I get home, she makes me dinner, never uttering a complaint. We spend the rest of the evening together with the kids until it is time for bead. We tuck them in and they start the routine. Both boys, in an obsessive compulsive disorder like fashion, ask us to “check on them again and again and to leave the door like that”, and they each repeat this phrase at least twice. It is then that we go and snuggle on the couch while I complain about messaging her exhausted shoulders. Yup, that’s right, I complain about it. Looking back at this, I suck! I have a beautiful woman that wants to spend all of her time with me and I complain about a little messaging. Well, no more says I! I shall message with new found vigor. I will also enjoy every moment that I have remaining with this angel that God gave me so long ago.
Well that’s pretty much it. Now I’ll just copy and paste on to a piece of paper.
Why do some want to determine why countries and cultures hate us? If that reason is found, would the next logical step be to change who we are? America is America. This is a fact that will not change. Some people hate us for who we are, this too is a fact that will not change. To daydream about what we as a country can do to change these two facts is futile. Another fact – there are people out there that hate us so much that they are determined to destroy as many of us as possible. We will not be able to stop them or persuade them towards peace. The only way to stop them is to destroy them, not just the temporary use of force , but the complete destruction of those who would harm us. This sounds barbaric, but in a world that only is persuaded by deadly force, it is the only way. Historically, peace is not found by negotiations, peace is only found through the use of overwhelming force. Take for example, World War II. Peace was attempted by negotiations and overlooking aggression. Peace was found after those who sought world dominance were destroyed or surrendered.
I hear those that say that the President lied about the threat that Saddam Hussein posed towards us. They say that the weapons that he used against his own people no longer exist. They seem to think that Saddam found Jesus and turned from his wicked ways and destroyed those weapons for 12 years. He just didn’t want to show the inspectors the proof. Of coarse he would have never hid them in the vast dessert that is the size of California, or gave them to his neighboring countries that are also bent on destruction. And perish the thought that he sold them to people that are determined to destroy Americans. No not this man. He was a loving man who was passionate and fair to his people. And oh how heart broken were his people when he was removed from power.
I find it quite sad that so many people want to stick their heads in the sand and not face the reality of this mortal world in which we live in. I almost think that they have their mindsets in the fantasy world of Star Track. Where the world loved each other and there wasn’t any hatred and that we evolved from such a barbaric society.
Again facts are facts. No matter how you look at it, the reality is still present. We as a people can unite or succumb to those who are filled with hate.
I just finished reading Galatians and John in the Message version. It’s funny; I have read these books many times and typically have been mostly board with them. Paul’s Galatians always seemed to be wordy without a point and John’s account of Christ has always been great, but when one reads it for the 50th time, it tends to loose its impact. Not this time!! I have read them with the knowledge of who God is and how he loves. I noticed that although Galatians was written almost 2,000 years ago, it still applies to today and the system is no longer the Jews diligently following the law, the system in fact is us and any secular means to do something for God. As Wayne so eloquently puts it “… once we contain it in a ‘network’ man creates (the system), instead of relationships God gives, we’ll find ourselves once again climbing the ladder that is leaning on the wrong wall.” And as for John’s gospel, to comprehend how the father and the son communicate, work and love together fluently will be my life’s goal. I have discovered that it is not a statement to follow him, as some organizations would have you believe, rather to live life fully loved by the Father. Christ didn’t point and condemn as commonly thought by the secular culture (thank you organized religion). It isn’t about right or wrong for these are the symptoms of a soul recognizing that it is loved or not. Perhaps the secular culture has blurred the deadly judge with Jesus’ life. The life that was lived watching what the Father did and doing the same thing.
On another note….I just talked with “pastor” Gill. I spoke of the stuff that I was learning and he was excited because that was where his “flock” is going. Although our churches are different we are both searching for the will of the Father. What an adventure.
