Tuesday, November 16, 2004

I find it amazing how life can go so smoothly until your kids get sick. It is pure torment. I think torture is more appropriate. Both Clay and Damon are sick. Clay has a severe chest cold/influenza much like Damon had last year. The short, fast breaths he is taking is more than I can stand to watch. His body is starving for oxygen and there is nothing his powerful dad can do about it. Last year when Damon was like this, I sat in the restroom at work and sobbed for hours knowing what little I could do but wait it out. On one hand, you want God to remove all the sickness from his limp body and have it transferred into yours if only to save him. On the other, I know that he will survive this and his body will be that much stronger against infections because of this. Nothing I do today will go right because my mind is elsewhere. Nothing.

I also find it amazing how much Damon can comfort me. Although he too is sick, he is not as nearly severe. He only wants to be with me. To only be by my side while I work on my car or watch a movie with him. What we do is most irrelevant. It is that he is with me. He cares for me in a way that makes me feel like I could conquer the world.

And then there is Ella. How can she kiss so much and not be sick is beyond me. Her gentle eyes are mesmerizing. She will do all that she can to bring your spirit back to full health and then giggle and move on to the next patient. She brings you gifts of grandeur that are designated only for you.

My wife – of which I am nothing without – somehow can keep it all together and put up with me as well. I know that while I am going through this agony over my sick child, her maternal instincts are ten fold which won’t allow her to sleep until Clay is at peace. I don’t know how she can do it. I thought I was the one that was supposed to be the one with all the strength but my body has limits - hers knows none and she retains her beauty through it all.

A little sentimental you say? I’m low on sleep and high on worry. Just wait until you have some treasures that walk amongst you. Your life won’t be the same and I will never look back.

posted by Tera @ 10:59 AM Comments: 0