posted by Tera @ 10:48 AM
Comments: 1
Exposing Myself on a Regular Basis
“All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you. I never had a selfless thought since I was born. I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through: I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn. Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek, I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin: I talk of love -a scholar's parrot may talk Greek- But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin." - C S Lewis
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
So often I find myself pondering what is the balance in this life that we are called to live. When do I stop reading, studying, and discussing with my friends about this enormous love that I have stumbled upon and start eating, walking and conversing life with those who are empty? Where is that happy median? I highly value the friendships that the Father has given me for they are my source of inspiration. I have many books that I use for reference. I have a micro-culture of love that is beyond what words could portray. Life is good but, what about those people that I meet so often that never eat with me? Where is the in depth discussions about the Father’s love with them? What do they do in their spare time? Do they study the Word? What kind of micro-culture do they have and more importantly, why am I not a part of it? I can easily mock the Christian bookstores and the like because I see their focus as inward, but what grounds do I stand on? My heart desires this “outward” focus, but my mind finds more comfort in the old habits. I’m not a Baptist preacher going around looking for some one to save and dunk. My struggle is not over the great command. I have something to learn from those who are searching that is far greater than any book that I could ever read. I don’t believe that I am to do this on my own. It is clearly written that we do this together. So what’s holding us back? What is holding me back?