I feel it necessary to tell you all that we have attempted to do for you in the hopes that you might be more real to us. In reality, you have been there all along. Desiring us as your people, you have paid a price for us solely out of love. Perhaps this is more of an apology than anything else. Your love is so great and we are so shallow. We can’t comprehend your love for us and I think that is what keeps us continuing to try to please you in the same way that pagans tried to please their “gods”. Instead of walking in the love and friendship of the one true and living God, they tried in vein to have their gods make circumstances such that they could blame or praise their gods. I admit we are no different. We want to see you work so much that in reality, we are now blind to your works. We desire to prove to others that you are who you are that we put on elaborate shows, or attempt to do so, all in the name of evangelism. We want you to heal a relative and so we do a song and dance in the hopes that you might notice us. We are a jealous, stingy and consumer driven bunch of people. This is who we are.
I take comfort in your love. I know that now matter what I have done, you still want me. I don’t fully comprehend this, but nor do I fully grasp eternity. Although I still remain your servant, I know that I am much more. I am your friend. I will walk with you no matter what. Not because of what I have seen you do, how well the worship team is or whom you have healed. Those are perks. I will walk with you because of your love. I have never experienced such a powerful thing in my life. It is almost a natural attraction. It seems that my being was created out of love and I will seek for it until I find it and then I will hold on with all that I have.
I also see that we are not living in the freedom that you have given us. We walk as though death still has a firm grip on us. Although we call you master, we live our lives like we are walking on thin ice hoping that we will not plummet into misery. Your life on earth was exciting and adventurous and you asked us if we wanted to participate in it. We eagerly said yes with our mouth and were trembling inside knowing that such a decision would warrant persecution. Yet we, in America, are no longer persecuted. In fact, your name now is associated with success. We no longer worship you together with enthusiasm that radiates throughout the city. It seems that we no longer recognize that we follow a most powerful God, a God that conquered death so that we may never part from your prescience. At best we can muster up a cheer that dwindles immediately. I so long to see your throne room and to listen to the creatures praise your name. You are worthy and holy.
I ask that you give me the mindset to live an adventure with you. All that I live for is to worship you. Please allow me to do that with reckless abandon.
posted by Tera @ 11:23 AM
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