posted by Tera @ 12:08 PM
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Exposing Myself on a Regular Basis
“All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you. I never had a selfless thought since I was born. I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through: I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn. Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek, I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin: I talk of love -a scholar's parrot may talk Greek- But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin." - C S Lewis
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
I am excited about the future. The store has a potential buyer. It is all that I can do to hold myself back from giving him a hug. But, I can’t get my hopes up too much - after all I did say that he is a potential buyer. In other news, our spiritual family continues to draw closer. This gives me more joy than any books can explain. It will be so much better when gene (a.k.a. the guitar makin’ machine) comes back for good, but I think as a family (notice I didn’t say a community) we are leaping over the barriers that keep us from pure love. Thanks to Jacobson’s thoughts, we are constantly expanding on them and trying to see God in all of this. The whole house church thing is great but for me, it was a distraction from the Father. Since I have lived in Vegas, I have experienced God more than ever. However, I think that while experiencing Him, I also limited my intake of Him. It is kind of like looking at a sunset with blinders on. You experience true beauty but limited beauty. I am not saying that I have this all figured out, for that will never come. But, what I am saying is that I am starting to see true beauty in all things by focusing not on my friends, house church, strangers etc. but rather on the Father alone. This isn’t an easy task. It is almost like breaking a bad habit. I hope that others will be able to receive this stuff with more ease than me.